build: improve CI speeds and reduce CI costs (#33904)

* rely on src cache instead of workspace
* run some tasks in the background and "thread join" later
* merge some ninja build commands to reduce overhead

script/node-disabled-tests.json

@@ -26,6 +26,7 @@
   "parallel/test-http2-clean-output",
   "parallel/test-https-agent-session-reuse",
   "parallel/test-https-options-boolean-check",
+  "parallel/test-icu-minimum-version",
   "parallel/test-inspector-multisession-ws",
   "parallel/test-inspector-port-zero-cluster",
   "parallel/test-inspector-tracing-domain",