diff --git a/tools/admin/meteor-bootstrap.sh b/tools/admin/meteor-bootstrap.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000000..1bc3f3e9af
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tools/admin/meteor-bootstrap.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,57 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+set -e
+set -u
+
+# XXX this should be cloudfront, not test
+URLBASE='https://s3.amazonaws.com/com.meteor.static/test'
+
+if [ ! -x "$HOME/.meteor/meteor" ]; then
+  if [ -e "$HOME/.meteor" ]; then
+    echo "'$HOME/.meteor' exists, but '$HOME/.meteor/meteor' is not executable."
+    echo
+    echo "Remove it and try again."
+    exit 1
+  fi
+
+  # Bootstrap .meteor from a tarball. First, figure out our architecture.
+
+  UNAME=$(uname)
+  if [ "$UNAME" != "Linux" -a "$UNAME" != "Darwin" ] ; then
+      echo "Sorry, this OS is not supported."
+      exit 1
+  fi
+
+  if [ "$UNAME" = "Darwin" ] ; then
+    if [ "i386" != $(uname -p) -o "1" != $(sysctl -n hw.cpu64bit_capable 2>/dev/null || echo 0) ] ; then
+      # Can't just test uname -m = x86_64, because Snow Leopard can
+      # return other values.
+      echo "Only 64-bit Intel processors are supported at this time."
+      exit 1
+    fi
+    ARCH="x86_64"
+  elif [ "$UNAME" = "Linux" ] ; then
+    ARCH="$(uname -m)"
+    if [ "$ARCH" != "i686" -a "$ARCH" != "x86_64" ] ; then
+      echo "Unsupported architecture: $ARCH"
+      echo "Meteor only supports i686 and x86_64 for now."
+      exit 1
+    fi
+  fi
+
+  TMPDIR="$HOME/.meteor-install-tmp"
+  rm -rf "$TMPDIR"
+  mkdir "$TMPDIR"
+  echo 'This is your first time using Meteor! Downloading the engine now.'
+  curl --progress-bar \
+      "$URLBASE/meteor-engine-bootstrap-${UNAME}-${ARCH}.tar.gz" | \
+    tar -xzf - -C "$TMPDIR"
+  # bomb out if it didn't work, eg no net
+  test -x "${TMPDIR}/.meteor/meteor"
+  mv "${TMPDIR}/.meteor" "$HOME"
+  rmdir "${TMPDIR}"
+  # just double-checking :)
+  test -x "$HOME/.meteor/meteor"
+fi
+
+exec "$HOME/.meteor/meteor" "$@"